Swimming in the Flood
by anailurophile
Summary: Siblings, Arizona and Tommy, lose their father at the ripe ages of 15 and 18. Arizona has a hard time coping with the loss of her father, her sexuality, and her brother's decision to join the Army, and she's slowly losing her will to live. After a trip to the hospital, Arizona is sent to in-patient care for three weeks […] Trigger warning.


_Summary: [...] Siblings, Arizona and Tommy, lose their father at the ripe ages of 15 and 18. Arizona has a hard time coping with the loss of her father, her sexuality, and her brother's decision to join the Army, and she's slowly losing her will to live. After her father's death, she finishes out her Freshman year, secludes herself for an entire summer, and when she begins to cut, only a week before the start of her Sophomore year, after a trip to the hospital, Arizona is sent to in-patient care for three weeks. When she comes back to school, she has a new lab partner in Anatomy, that just so happens to be Calliope Torres, a girl she's had a bit of an infatuation with since her Freshman year of high school. The rumor mill around school is running rampant, but Callie doesn't seem to care, and for that she's grateful. They work together, and slowly become friends - Callie becomes Arizon'a rock, and eventually even more than that. Trigger warning: death, cutting, and mention of suicide._

**A/N: This idea struck me while I was trying to get to sleep last night, and I had to run with it. This will probably be the longest, most depressing, most angsty fic I will ever right, but I have a feeling it's going to be good. Lol. I don't have this completely planned out yet, but I have a pretty idea of where it's going. I've tried to outline my ideas as best I can. I hope you enjoy this! Thank you for reading!**

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Arizona and Tommy stood, clinging to one another for dear life, their bodies trembling. As they stood over the empty plot in the ground, that would soon be occupied by their deceased father's body, they openly wept on each other's shoulders. Barbra, their mother, stood close by, weeping as well. As the first of the dirt was being shoveled onto the Colonel's American flag clad coffin, a fierce sob ripped through Arizona's chest, and she let out a loud, painful moan, falling to her knees, reaching out for the coffin. Tommy sank down to his knees then, putting his arms around his sister, holding her as close as humanly possible, trying to calm her down. He knew there was no point, no way he could ever make any of this better, but he knew she needed him, and he needed her too, so he continued to hold her as she wept, watching on as their father was consumed by the earth.

Eventually, the coffin was completely covered, and as people started to leave, giving their condolences to the grieving family, Arizona sat alone fixated on the now covered plot of land before her. Tears no longer fell from her eyes, she only sat, staring intently at the ground, wondering why something like this happened to her father - to her family. Her father was a good man in a storm, he loved and believed in his country, he fought long and hard, he was loyal, he was independent, he was headstrong, he was caring, he was strict, and above all else, he loved and protected his family. He was a perfect father, the most perfect father she could have ever asked for, and now he was just-he was gone. Forever. And the worst part is, she felt as though she'd failed him, disappointed him, somehow. Sure, she'd always had straight a's, she gave her all in everything she did, she was intelligent, she was confident in her abilities, she was compassionate, she was driven - much like her father, but there was just one thing she wasn't so sure about - She had come out to him only one week before his demise, and ever since then she hasn't been able to help but feel that on some level, she was just a disappointment to him. And she never got a chance to really talk to him about it, either. All he had said that night was, "Are you still who I raised you to be?" When she replied with a furious nod, he'd given her a small smile, telling her he loved her, and that was that. Sure, it hadn't been horrible, and truthfully, she was ecstatic with the outcome of it all, but after he found out, he'd been a little distant when it came to her. They'd always been close, and they still had been after she told him, but he wasn't quite himself after that day… He just seemed different somehow. And she still had a feeling - a feeling that she just could not seem to shake. Maybe it was all in her head, but that didn't help her cause one bit. Now, though, it didn't really matter. She'd never have the chance to make that feeling go away, because her father, he was dead. God just decided that now was his time? Why now? Why? He still had so much time left! He still had so much life in him! They still had so much to discuss!

It was right then and there that Arizona decided she didn't believe in a supreme being, despite what she'd been raised to believe. God had given up on her and her family, and she'd give up on him, too.

"Arizona…" Tommy said, quietly, as he sat down by her side. "We… We have to go home. It's getting dark, and if you sit out here much longer, you'll catch a cold."  
"I don't care." She said, coldly.  
"Arizona, I know you're upset, but you can't just sit here, staring at his grave. It's not going to help you, it's not going to bring him back to life." The pale, skinny 17 year old replied, calmly.  
"It may not bring him back to life, but it will make me feel better. Just give me ten more minutes, Tommy." She said, taking her eyes of the grave for the first time since her father had been buried, pleading with him.  
He nodded, slowly rising to his feet.  
He began to walk away, when Arizona's cool hand grabbed his, pulling him back. "Stay with me." She said, looking up at him, her eyes brimming with tears.  
He looked down at her sadly, and sank back down next to her, holding her to his side, letting his own tears fall.  
They sat there for 20 more minutes crying, holding each other, looking on, dolefully, at the dirt covered plot in front of them.  
They were in for a lifetime of hurt, from that moment on, and they both knew it. There was no getting over this incredible loss, but their lives hadn't stopped just because his did - it sure as hell had felt like it, but it didn't. They had to keep going, if not for themselves, then for their father, and they'd do it together.


End file.
